Interests and Daily Frustrations

The things that interest me are very diverse. This becomes quite a problem when I think about what I'd like to do once I get a chance to pursue my higher education. First, and I think most obvious to those who know me best, is cooking. Right now I find it very fun and interesting. There's so much to learn on the topic that I don't think I'll ever exhaust it. I want to get really good at baking. Making beautiful desserts and breads is very rewarding to me. I love to feed other people and I think it's a good way to form relationships and memories. I'd love to have a very small bakery and pastry shop where I got to produce whatever I fancied. I'd love to travel and try to duplicate the delicious creations from whence I traveled. Another interest is reading. I think I read about a book a week when I go to the library or I have new books. I especially love books that are historical fiction. A friend of mine only reads non-fiction and so I thought I'd give that a try because I may learn even more. It would be wonderful to be an author. The amount of work and research going into authoring a book sometimes astounds me. If I ever author anything I hope it's a cookbook. I am a very dedicated exerciser. I got my degree in exercise science and although I don't remember much, I do remember why I love it. I try to go six times a week but recently someone is always sick and I don't want to share the germs with the rest of the community. I really love the YMCA that I currently am a member of and it will break my heart to leave it behind when we move. Another thing I love, and I worry it will make me sound materialistic, is beauty and clothing. I don't know if I do this so much because I love it, or because it boosts my confidence. Either way, it's something I find myself doing regularly. I especially love shoes and high heels. The fancier and more colorful the better. I love looking for new ways to wear makeup and do my hair. I think the internet and youtube are heaven sent for people like me who really have no idea what they're doing. I think I come together pretty well in the end. I want to be sure that I never embarrass my children because of the way I look. I want them to know that I respect myself enough to try and take care of myself and put my best foot forward at all times. Hopefully, this will wear off on them.

I'm not sure where I was going last time with my daily frustrations, but I'm guessing it had to do with being home everyday and doing the same things all the time. I love being home with Scarlett and being able to hang out with Nate when he gets home from school. My mom being home for me was one of the most important things for me growing up. I remember when she went back to school and work my senior year of high school. It was strange not to have her home and to talk with her about my day. I understand now why she did go back to school and work, but at the time I didn't. I hope if I work or if I'm away that Nate and Scarlett know it's because I want to become the best version of myself and I believe that means always improving and learning and for me that means school. Anyway, back to the frustrations. I think one of the hardest things to overcome as a stay at home mom is the monotony. My mom was always so busy that she never really told me she was bored. Maybe she never was. I remember her "going on strike" when she got sick of cleaning up after us, but I never heard her complain about the mundane tasks she did daily. It's not fun to always be doing laundry, standing at a sink full of dishes, or scrubbing bathrooms. There is great reward in taking care of your things and keeping an orderly home, but it never stays taken care of or orderly long enough. I always feel like I'm thinking, "Didn't I just sweep this floor?" Most of the time it doesn't bother me but every once in a while I crave something different. Of course, like everything in life it's a matter of perspective. At this point in my life I think going to school would be just the medicine I needed to break my monotony, but Robert, who goes to school daily and finds it monotonous, may think that staying home would be just the ticket for him. It's so hard to understand where people's perspective comes from until you've experienced their circumstance. What I do know is that there are people who are older than you and have experienced more than you that may offer some wisdom. Don't disregard it. Listen and try to apply it. I hope that this may be one such time. No one ever really told me how much my stay at home mom would really appreciate me going out and weeding a flower bed, or vacuuming all the carpets or cleaning out the garage. I can tell you now, she would have really appreciated it. It's hard work to keep a house clean and functioning. You don't know until you try it yourself. So much goes on behind the scenes. So, if you can see something that would ease the burden, try and do it. Nothing tells a mother more that you appreciate her and love her for what she does more than trying to lighten her load.

Next time: insecurities and regrets.